Saying Goodbye
By Colleen Cahoon
Family Navigator Coordinator
Esquimalt MFRC
As a Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) family, your posting season can be a both an exciting and stressful time not only because of the numerous tasks on the to-do list (selling the house, house hunting trip, getting ready for the movers etc.) but also the mixed emotions that come up when you are preparing to leave. You may be looking forward to the new opportunities ahead, and you may also feel sad about leaving friends and family behind. Here are some tips to help you and your family prepare for the potential ups and downs of a move.
Create a way to celebrate your friendships
Although leaving friends behind may be difficult, this can also be a good opportunity to celebrate your friendships. There are a variety of ways to do this such as a goodbye party that focuses on some of the fun times you have had together or maybe you take a trip away with some friends prior to leaving. By celebrating your friendships, you may be able to focus on the positive impact they have had in your life and will continue to have from a distance.
Give your friend(s) something to remember you by
Maybe this is a photo album, a good book that you enjoyed together, or some other memento that reminds you of the friendship.
Discuss with your family how they want to say goodbye
Each person is different and how they want to say goodbye may be different than yours. Talk to your family members about ways they can say goodbye to their home, school, work, and friends. Maybe your child wants to take pictures of their room or maybe they want give each friend something to remember them by.
Create a plan
Once you are aware of each person’s expectations, you can, as a family, develop a plan on how you are going to say your goodbyes. Are you going to have one big BBQ or are you going to schedule a number of smaller more intimate visits?
Develop tools to stay in touch with people
Have an address book open at your going away party for everyone to sign. You can also help your kids connect with friends via technology. Another option that is becoming increasingly popular is to create a family blog, to help people to keep in touch with your new adventures.
Be Present
When saying goodbye to friends, it is easy to dwell on the loss; however, it is important to focus on the positive and be grateful for the time that you have spent together.
Share your feelings
It is okay to feel sad about leaving just as it is okay to be excited about your new adventure. Change of any kind can be intimidating. It is important not to ignore your emotions. Embrace your emotions and share them in order to overcome them.
Create Closure
Remember that it isn’t just the people that you are saying goodbye to. It is important to say farewell to the base that you are leaving. Eat out at your favorite restaurant or visit your favorite park. This may be especially helpful for kids to feel a sense of closure before leaving.