Techniques for Relaxation, Productivity and Happiness
Now, some believe if you work harder, you’ll be more successful. If you’re more successful, then you’ll be happier. Maybe not that simple. Living in the military lifestyle can be a handful, but wouldn’t it be great to feel more productive living the life?
Listen via your favourite podcasting app
Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRADIO | Stitcher
Special Guest
Sarah Francescutti is mindset coach with Exhale and Thrive Coaching. A former military member, she also works at CFB Esquimalt’s Transition Centre.
Highlights
- Prioritizing the things that are important in life.
- 4:09 Filling yourself up.
- Writing out what you should focus on.
- 8:34 Using your schedule as an intention setter.
- 10:19 Inside-out scheduling.
- Look at your life, what you do with your time and assign it a number.
- 15:48 Even robots need maintenance.
- For military families, each transition presents an opportunity.
Quotes
“You’ve probably heard about filling up your own cup first so that you can help others it’s the same kind of concept. But I think of it more like a vehicle. Most everybody has a car. And you know, if you’re running on empty fuel, you’re likely gonna burn out, run out of gas on the side of the road and be stuck between here and wherever you’re trying to get to. And the same sort of concept comes to mind, in your work and your personal life.” – Sarah Francescutti
“It’s more around, working less hard, making things easier, prioritizing the things that are important. And when you know what those are, then you can choose where you put your focus and your time and your energy, then your productivity soars.” – Sarah Francescutti
Connect
Links
Thank you
- Thank you to Organized Sound Productions for their help bringing this podcast to life.
Transcript
Sarah
I see it as an opportunity when you’re dealing with change or stress in any way of transition, and looking at it instead of a stressful, overwhelming, scary thing, looking at it instead of something where you can take time to reflect and be intentional about what you want to create in that new chapter. And looking at it from a beginner’s mind perspective, where you’re fresh and open and learning and growing, and how do you want to create this next segment of your life.
Intro
The military lifestyle is all encompassing. It’s difficult but rewarding. Dynamic, very, very dynamic. Unpredictable. You are in the Canadian Armed Forces, or a family member connected to the military. You know the lifestyle can be a challenge. The military lifestyle is always changing. In this podcast, we explore the world of deployment, postings and transition. This is The Military Lifestyle. Here’s your host, Jon Chabun.
Jon
Now, some believe if you work harder, you’ll be more successful. If you’re more successful, then you’ll be happier. Maybe not that simple. Living in the military lifestyle can be a handful, but wouldn’t it be great to feel more productive living the life. Former military member Sarah Francescutti works as a coach to help people thrive. Let’s talk about how you can get more time and energy in your life and feel more productive. So I’m here with Sarah to talk about productivity, relaxation, happiness. Sarah, distractions, huge thing? What are some strategies to focus on the things that really matter in your life? What are some things that hurt your focus? What are some things that we can do to improve it? Big Questions to start. What do we think about that?
Sarah
Well, let’s jump in first about what hurts our focus. And what I believe really is the backwards way to productivity that I found over the years that I’m now thinking as the number one secret, and maybe it isn’t that big of a secret. But instead of thinking about working harder to get more productivity to be further along in life, even in your personal life, it’s more around, working less hard, making things easier, prioritizing the things that are important. And when you know what those are, then you can choose where you put your focus and your time and your energy, then your productivity soars. But without running on empty.
Jon
Now, it’s really kind of about selecting the right tasks to work on, like, I know in my life, personally, professionally, sometimes you get distracted by things that aren’t important, or at least they feel like your aren’t important. Do you really have to ask, you know what is really important in your life?
Sarah
I believe so. I believe in living intentionally and leading intentionally as a leader in my professional life, and running my businesses intentionally setting up my relationships in my home life intentionally. And to me, that means really taking the time to reflect, to slow down to listen, to get to know yourself and really understand what’s important. And I even prioritize them in order. So for me, family, relationships, and self care and health and well being are before my career progression, for example, but I know that one supports the other. But knowing that one thing maybe is a higher priority than another makes it easier for you to choose how you put your time and focus and energy to work for you in your life.
Jon
Do you feel like sometimes? You listed family I think before self care is?
Sarah
Haha,yes. So that, they’re entwined.
Jon
Do you feel like sometimes you sacrifice self care for your family?
Sarah
Oh, it’s a good example. So as you know, I’m a new mom with a very new baby. She’s four months old this week. And so I’ve been applying these productivity aspects to my personal life now, prioritizing family and taking care of my lovely daughter is a joy. But I’ve also found when I was only doing that, I felt like I was missing something. And you’ve probably heard about filling up your own cup first so that you can help others it’s the same kind of concept. But I think of it more like a vehicle. Most everybody has a car. And you know, if you’re running on empty fuel, you’re likely gonna burn out, run out of gas on the side of the road and be stuck between here and wherever you’re trying to get to. And the same sort of concept comes to mind, in your work and your personal life. In two months in as a new mama, I decided I better take some my own medicine and take time for myself care again. And so I started doing my morning mindset activities and journaling and meditation. It really helped refocus and re-energize me on being a great mom, being a great wife, doing the at home mom thing, but also making sure that I am also feeling my best self and showing up as a thriving person instead of a surviving person.
Jon
True, you were talking about journaling. I mean, like going the act of writing stuff down, if you want to improve your focus, doing something like that is probably, you know, you’re more likely to do something if you write it down.
Sarah
Yeah, absolutely. And it’s again, coming clear and taking the time to get clear on your priorities. I do this on a global scale for a five year plan or one year plan. But I also do it daily and weekly. By taking the time I find to actually manually write something down, whether you take two minutes to write the top three priorities for the day, or sometimes I’ve taken two hours when I’ve had the luxury on a weekend or a holiday to journal and write these things out. And it can be so powerful, and then you almost can let go for the day, because you’ve set that intention of those are the things that you’re going to focus on, then you don’t need to worry about it. And because you’ve already made it clear in your mind, then when there’s a moment to do something, then you already know, that’s the next thing on your to do list. And it can really allow space for creativity, and flow and working with opportunities that may come up that weren’t on your to do list for the day, but yet still allows you to be massively productive, because if you’re focusing on those top three things for the day, and then you finish one or two of them, you’ve won for the day, which is always a great feeling, versus what I think a lot of people struggle with the mindset of working harder to get ahead, and actually not doing the things that they should be doing and get sucked up and doing all these other things. And then they feel like they’re losing at the end of every day, which doesn’t feel good of course.
Jon
When it comes to time. I mean, people feel overwhelmed. What are some things that we do that can create more time in our life?
Sarah
Well, the time I believe, comes down to your mindset. So I’ve talked already about the belief that working harder doesn’t necessarily get you further ahead. Also thinking about time, if you believe that there’s never enough time to do everything in the day, then that’s what you’re going to create in your life because that’s what you believe. And and as a mindset coach, I recognize the connection between what we think about and how we behave, and what we do within our day. So one thing that I found has really helped me with my time is actually looking at my mindset behind time and what I think about it. So thinking about instead of, there’s not enough time to get everything done, or I’ve got so much to do, or I’m so busy, or I need to come in on weekends, or skip my lunch break. Instead, think about the idea that I always have more than enough time for everything that matters in my life. Or I choose to rest instead of doing the dishes, instead of saying I’m too busy to do the dishes, or I’m too busy to get that task done at work. I’m choosing not to. And it’s more about taking empowered approach and believing that you can do everything because you’re amazing. And it’s just a matter of figuring out how and like I said prioritizing what you’re going to do first, and then letting the rest fall into the place around that.
Jon
There are a lot of different things that can erase people’s time I think of things like TV, social media, staring at your smartphone, browsing the internet. Email is another big one. Those are like, huge, I would call them little time sucks. But do you have to like schedule stuff? The scheduling time? Putting it in a calendar? Is that effective?
Sarah
Well, I could talk to you about this for days. So I’ll tell you just a couple things. One thing I believe is a combination. What I found is worked best for me and people that I’ve helped with this over the years is using your schedule, as again, an intention setter, but then maybe being relaxed about it. So you got to have a blend of both the structure but also openness as well, at the same time.
Jon
Don’t be a slave to your calendar.
Sarah
Yeah. And everybody’s going to have a different level of comfort and of how they’re going to use a tool. I personally like Google calendars, and I love color coding. And that just is fun for me. And I like writing things down too. And I really go into it. Some of the people may want to make it easier lighter than that. So it’s a matter of playing and trying on different things and see what works. I’ve also found at different seasons or different chapters or times of my life and my career, different tools work at different times. So it’s more just making it fun and finding something that works for you that supports you. But there’s a quote that I remember coming across years ago said that your calendar shows you what’s important. What you schedule into your calendar, what you make time for are your priorities. Now maybe you don’t want them but you’re doing them anyway. But at this moment, you know you’re choosing to put that time into doing that one activity. So part of it, like you’re saying things that steal away your time whether that is a Netflix binge, which I can do often myself or whatever type of social media or any technology. Sometimes these things can be good. But knowing whether or not they are serving you, I think is more, the way to look at it.
Jon
Definitely a distractions are big, feeling overwhelmed. And the other thing I hear from people is just feeling exhausted. And so when you look at that energy piece, what are some strategies to get more energy in your life?
Sarah
Yeah, so I love the concept of what I’ve now called inside-out scheduling. So instead of taking your calendar and your obligations and doing everything that everybody else is asking you to do, whether that’s the 10,000 emails at work, or meetings and other types of activities, volunteering, whatever it is, you’ve got in your schedule, instead, taking the time to figure out what’s important to you, what matters most to you, what replenishes your energy the most, and then scheduling those things first. And then making the time for everything else to fit in around that. I found that that is filling up your gas tank first. So if you are a car, you’re showing up every day with a full gas tank instead of running on empty, which I think is so easy for people to do in our culture this day and age, where that burnout and overwhelm, like you’re saying can come up.
Jon
So what sort of things are you thinking about in that regard? When it comes to that? Is it, are you thinking like stuff like self care? Is that is that accurate?
Sarah
Yeah, so the basics, like sleeping, good health, and nutrition, taking lunch breaks, that’s a big one that I find that people don’t do a lot. Go to the washroom, take your vacations, basic, those basic things.
Jon
I was thinking take lunch breaks, not at your desk.
Sarah
Yeah, thank you exactly. And I found personally, I’ve been running this experiment with myself for a few years. Normally, I like to get out of the office, go for a walk, or do some yoga or see a friend or just get out of the building. Basically, anytime I don’t even if I eat at lunch, and I’d say I’m doing something else, I find that by mid afternoon, I’m done for the day, I’m emotionally sensitive, I feel less inspired, just doesn’t work. And then by the time I get home, at the end of the day, I’m a miserable person, it may not show on the outside, but internally, I can feel it. And if you do that every day, that’s just a crappy way to live. It’s not a fun way to live. And so I found that that lunch break can be huge. But on top of that, I also would recommend people look at their lives and what they do with their time. And even give it a number. So say, going for walk at lunch would give me a positive three amounts of points into my gas tank of energy. But back to back meetings, for example, would drain me by four points. So by looking at both things, or maybe a lunch or coffee with a friend would give you five points of energy and a bath would give you 10, or something like that. Or maybe driving in traffic drains your energy. And by looking at how these things work for you, you can then be more intentional about offsetting things that may drain you, or maybe delegating them, or stopping doing them all together.
Jon
People definitely want to feel more productive, they want more time they want more energy. How can these things impact things like relationships, health, wellness, happiness? Or maybe it’s how like, relationships, health, happiness can impact our success? Not sure which one? But you could try to answer that if you can.
Sarah
Yeah, so I believe this whole productivity thing can be a bit of a monster and take over yet I talked about productivity and how to be better at being productive, because that’s what people are looking for. I found you know, it’s something that we’re struggling for, in some way, being happy and healthy and well and enjoying life satisfied, can come from achievement, it can come from doing things and being active. I mean, I don’t think people really thrive when they’re sitting on the couch all day. But at the same time, there’s that balance between also doing things that bring enjoyment and replenish us and help us thrive really.
Jon
And with productivity. I don’t necessarily just think of the professional side, I think productivity can be in personal life too. And for me, it’s about, you know, wanting growth in your life, making progress. Everyone wants to feel like they’re going somewhere, they just might not know exactly how they’re going to get there. So if you kind of apply all these philosophy or way of doing things you think people can get there?
Sarah
Absolutely. Yeah, I’ve come up with a sort of a strategy behind it, and a way of looking at where you’re at today. So maybe today you are feeling a little drained. So maybe taking a little bit of time to replenish that will be helpful. And so that can help the self awareness and self development piece as well as your personal life piece because if you’re showing up in your relationships, if you’re showing up for yourself even as your thriving self again, you are going to enjoy life so much more, that’s where I think fulfillment can come in as well, where you’ve got energy to do other things that are important to you, or maybe just sitting with a cup of coffee or tea and listening to the birds in the morning, this doesn’t have to be a massive thing to be able to be enjoying our lives.
Jon
I do like the little gas tank analogy, because people are always told that self care is important. So everybody thinks, Oh, yes, I need to take some self care, I’ll go to massage therapy, or I’ll do yoga, or I’ll go for a run or a bike ride or something. But like the whole other side of the equation, and realizing that there’s sometimes there’s things that kind of deplete you as well. And being aware of that. And it’s just something I never really thought about before.
Sarah
I sort of always wanted as a kid, I wanted either an operating manual or almost if I could be a robot. And the reason why I wished I was a robot was because I felt like I could just not eat and not sleep, because you imagine the life that we would live. And I think there’s movies out there that are like this. But then I realized at one point that even robots need maintenance, they need oil their joints, they need repairs, and I thought okay, fine, then so if that’s the case, then how can we live? In a way that is easy? I guess how do we operate this body of a being in a way that can serve us to the best way we can?
Jon
Can you get too wrapped up in productivity? Like, especially if you equate your own productivity with self worth and you feel like like you want to make gains in your personal/professional life? And yeah, if you think that you need to do this, this this this it is could it be unhealthy?
Sarah
I think the answer is it depends. So I am a high achiever person, I always like learning and growing and taking classes and learning new things and improving all the time. So for me, that is important. And I find I that’s my happy zone. But for other people, some folks are happy doing the same job for 20 years. And so everybody’s going to be different about it. But I agree with you that there is an unhealthy end of the spectrum of being overly productive to the point of self detriment. And that’s where I came up with this whole inside-out scheduling philosophy for my own well being because I needed it. You know, we teach what we need to learn, but also to help others as well get out of that trap, so that we can still be doing the things that we want to do having career progression, having an amazing personal life. But without the burnout piece without the overwhelm or running on empty very often by looking at what we need and addressing it daily.
Jon
So you have experience as a military member, a military family member, you’ve also worked at CFB Esquimalt. What are you some of your perspectives as like from that side and to the military lifestyle? Someone who’s living the lifestyle, what would you tell them?
Sarah
Well, the biggest thing that came up to me, as I was thinking about what I would share with you guys today was around change, and transitions. And I know military deals with that a lot, whether it’s a deployment or a new job, a new posting, or even having your kids go to school at a different school or even different seasons, you know, changing from spring to summer and summer to fall brings different tempo to the day, brings different things in our lives. And so I see it as an opportunity. And when you’re dealing with change or stress in any way of transition, and looking at it instead of a stressful, overwhelming, scary thing, looking at it instead of something where you can take time to reflect and be intentional about what you want to create in that new chapter. And looking at it from a beginner’s mind perspective where you’re fresh and open and learning and growing. And how do you want to create this next segment of your life?
Jon
So is there anything else you would mention?
Sarah
This is going to be different for everybody, but really looking at what energizes you what drains you and maybe even to what level so that you can intentionally fill up that gas tank every day and show up as your thriving self where you’re creative, you’re inspired, you’re loving life, and then you can share that with the world and uplift others that you connect with as well. That’s my personal mission. And I’m so excited to have been here with you today, Jon, to share it all with you.
Jon
Yeah, thank you very much for your time. It’s great to talk with you. You can learn more about Sarah at Exhaleandthrive.com. You can also access the inside out scheduling guide on her website at no cost.
Extro
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Military Lifestyle. To learn more about this episode and to check out our other resources like the deployment app, go to Esquimaltmfrc.com. A special thanks to Organized Sound Productions for bringing our idea to life. Please share this podcast with your military family or with someone living the lifestyle. Subscribe to The Military Lifestyle on your favorite podcast app. Your support is greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening.
